Stolen images
These are pictures that my sister has saved on her computer. Because I'm at her house for the week,I decided I'd show you some of these...she'll never know!
This is a shot of ACU's homecoming musical from three years ago, Guys N Dolls. If you just look, you can see my elbow and the bottom of my red polka dot skirt on the left. My sister must've thought that I was the girl in the white polka dot dress because she took lots of pictures of that girl, and none of me!
Kevin could ues some fashion advice. Not only is he sporting a t-shirt from the dark side, but that fro is downright gnarly. Both he and his older brother Kurt had this same...er....haircut in those days.
Take a look at this tux! The girl beside Cole is his sister. But I'm sure that his date had a similar reaction.
Not to be outdone by the boys in our family, my two nieces and I posed for this beauty last Christmas. We were portraying the way that we sleep. It's good for the spine.
Classical Sonatas
I'm just sitting here eating the M&M's out of the trail mix. Kim and I are in the new apartment but still haven't gotten our internet hookup, so I have to stop by my parents house to use the internet. I take the internet for granted. So many people say that writing in their blog is a chore, but I don't really think so. It's my own private magazine and I'm the editor. The fact that people read it is very cool. I know I've said this before, but it truly is great to have a voice.
My Mom is sewing something right now, and the classical tune that is playing on the radio just ended. She sighed just now and said, "I like that music." My Mom really isn't much a music or movie buff, so I always think it's nice when she really likes something. She usually gets up a lot and forgets that she is watching a movie. The classical music was very lush, romantic. I wondered to myself if that's what love is really about? I know it is not, because I hear my parents have gory discussions about their tonenail fungi. I don't know if I'd want love to be as heavy as that romantic sonata. It would just be too much, like one of those rich chocolate desserts that you can only eat two bites of. But I do know one thing: I want that with God. Talking with Summer and Renee last night just reminded me of that. To be filled with God's spirit is something that we talk about a lot but some of us have never experienced. How do I know that? Because I thought I had lived full of the spirit of God for my whole life until something really occurred that told me otherwise. Have you ever been so compelled by the Holy Spirit that you feel like God is just dwelling in your body; that every word you say and everything you do is just God radiating out of you? And it's not that you did anything or are doing anything to make this happen. It's more like God is using you--literally. There is a painting that I once saw but haven't been able to locate. Maybe it was at an art exibition, I don't remember. But in this painting there is a man, floating between the earth and the sky, with a beam of light forcing its way out of his body--his mouth, his eyes, his every fingertip. When I think of God's spirit dwelling in me, I imagine this painting. At times it's a brilliant light and at other times it seems like only a little flicker. We've had ages of religious debate on what it means to be filled with the spirit of God. We know that God gives us his spirit freely, so everyone who knows Him has it, don't they? Well, yes, but there's a real difference in how that Spirit manifests itself. Who can deny that at certain times we have more intense, powerful encounters with God? You could compare it to a radio signal, which gets stronger the closer we get to the source. Or, more accureately, the heat of the sun. We can never fly right next to the sun because it would burn us up. That's God. This experience is, to some, needless. Is that not wanting what is unrealistic for us, as human beings, to walk in? God is always with us, is he not? But if you love someone, don't you want to be close to that person? After a while, talking on the phone and writing e-mails just won't do.
Think what you will about this, I'm just thinking. We say we are filled to overflowing, but our fullness is relative. Sometimes we're only allowing God to inhabit our lives as much as we're comfortable with. And "comfortable" is usually settling for second best.
Go Mavs!
Look at that sporty subject line. I chose that subject line so that Zach and Josue would read my blog! I'll be watching the game tonight, but during commercials I'm watching baseball.
On Saturday, I will be moving in with the same roommate I had the first time I left my parents' house. Kim Perkins was my roommate freshman year before transferring to OU. Now she's in her second year of grad school and we decided that if I quit my job at Alvarado, then we would be roommates. I had to quit my job early to allow my school to find another person to take my place and in order for Kim to let her old apartment complex know she wasn't coming back. It's cool, I said, I'll find a job. And I will. But I just haven't yet. You know that feeling of rejection that is necessary in our lives? How much is too much, I wonder? I mean, it is necessary. Thinking back on the first guy that rejected me in school...his name is Mark. He was really cool in 6th grade, but I've heard he's an alcoholic now. I'm really thankful for that rejection. Another big rejection for me was being rejected by the ACU theatre department the first time I auditioned. That rejection motivated me to work really hard building sets and props to show that I had good work ethic. I still really wanted to be a theatre major so it meant so much when they let me in the department.
But job rejection. What's the point, really? They don't know me, they are just school principals taking one look at my resume, seeing that I only have a year of experience, and choosing to ignore my constant e-mails and phone calls. After all, their secretaries are the ones who have to deal with me. Principals are busy, I guess, but honestly. If I get totally discouraged about this, then I'm missing the lesson of this experience and every experience: God gives, God provides, and God has his own clock. He provided that job in Alvarado at the very end of the summer last year. I don't doubt that he will take care of me. It's just...how. It may be a very humbling job for me, like Burger King French Fry Commander. Is there such a job? My Mom has reminded me daily that I don't have a job yet, just to motivate me. Have faith. Have faith. But am I going about this the right way? I think tomorrow I'm going to drive over to Flower Mound High School and wait in the front office until the principal walks out...then pounce!
I have had an interview at a middle school, however. They want me to teach Home-ec for four classes and theatre for two.
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Something funny happened Sunday night as I was driving home from my Abilene/Burleson trip. I heard one of those Bud Light "Real men of Genius" commercials on the radio, and it made fun of guys who were way too proud of Texas. I'm going to be careful what I say right now because I live in Texas. Why bite the hand that feeds me? But it was so funny! One of the characteristics of "Mr. Way too proud of Texas" was that he had contempt for all states that don't begin with "Tex" and end in "as". I knew a guy at ACU who was like that--so proud of Texas that he used to make up quotes about Texas, then post them on his AOL away messages. These quotes personified Texas as a beautiful woman with which real women could nrver compare. It was a lot like Pat Green's "Songs about Texas". I'm from Oklahoma, and I never knew anybody who made up their own love-quotes about it! Sure, I got reamed by my classmates when I told them I was going to a college in Texas. But the state pride was never as extreme as it is in Texas. I'm pretty sure you're never going to find an Illinois flag shower curtain. Please comment, Texans. I don't fully understand.
Go Mavs!
So Long, Burleson
Hi guys. I'm about to unhook my computer and pack it up. Tomorrow I'll be moving back to Dallas for a temporary stay at my parents' house, then to my new apartment on the 17th. I'd like to do a small comparison of life at my parents' house compared to life at my apartment:
Mom and Dad's House:
Eats: No sugar, no trans fat, and no frivolous tastiness. Still better than my cooking.
Internet: Dial-up slowness, rarely worth it. User may forget what he or she was doing on the computer in the first place.
Computers: 3, count them, three computers, each with amazing Spider Solitaire capability.
Activities: Daddy does crossword puzzles, Mom watches the French open (tennis) and makes alphabet puppets to donate to the church. Giant exercise balls in the living room which double as Ottomans in front of the tv.
Bedtime: Between the 10 o'clock news and David Letterman.
Moving: I can't describe exactly how I feel about all of this. It's a mixture of anticipation, frustration, fear, and hope. My Mom's efforts to make my apartment squeaky-clean before I move out have irked me. Now, why wouldn't I want my Mom to help me out? That's just the tip of the iceberg of the weirdness of my feelings. Don't you sometimes think that emotions are a burden? I find myself swimming in them, like a soap opera queen, and I wonder what good they do. However, without them we'd all be channeling Keanu Reeves. Boring! Ask me about Keanu Reeves's acting. I'll give you an earful. Hmph.
Ok, I guess it's time to go unplugged. For those of you that I'm leaving behind, I am going to have to see you again...soon. It's not goodbye. Not today.
Happy Sunday
The Lord Reigns, let the earth be glad;
let the distant shores rejoice.
Clouds and thick darkness surround him;
righteousness and justice are the foundations of his throne.
Fire goes before him and consumes his foes on every side.
His lightning lights up the world;
the earth sees and trembles.
The mountains melt like wax before the Lord,
before the Lord of all the earth.
The heavens proclaim his righteousness,
and all the peoples see his glory...
psalm 97:1-6
Take a look at this tux! The girl beside Cole is his sister. But I'm sure that his date had a similar reaction. 
