Classical Sonatas
I'm just sitting here eating the M&M's out of the trail mix. Kim and I are in the new apartment but still haven't gotten our internet hookup, so I have to stop by my parents house to use the internet. I take the internet for granted. So many people say that writing in their blog is a chore, but I don't really think so. It's my own private magazine and I'm the editor. The fact that people read it is very cool. I know I've said this before, but it truly is great to have a voice.
My Mom is sewing something right now, and the classical tune that is playing on the radio just ended. She sighed just now and said, "I like that music." My Mom really isn't much a music or movie buff, so I always think it's nice when she really likes something. She usually gets up a lot and forgets that she is watching a movie. The classical music was very lush, romantic. I wondered to myself if that's what love is really about? I know it is not, because I hear my parents have gory discussions about their tonenail fungi. I don't know if I'd want love to be as heavy as that romantic sonata. It would just be too much, like one of those rich chocolate desserts that you can only eat two bites of. But I do know one thing: I want that with God. Talking with Summer and Renee last night just reminded me of that. To be filled with God's spirit is something that we talk about a lot but some of us have never experienced. How do I know that? Because I thought I had lived full of the spirit of God for my whole life until something really occurred that told me otherwise. Have you ever been so compelled by the Holy Spirit that you feel like God is just dwelling in your body; that every word you say and everything you do is just God radiating out of you? And it's not that you did anything or are doing anything to make this happen. It's more like God is using you--literally. There is a painting that I once saw but haven't been able to locate. Maybe it was at an art exibition, I don't remember. But in this painting there is a man, floating between the earth and the sky, with a beam of light forcing its way out of his body--his mouth, his eyes, his every fingertip. When I think of God's spirit dwelling in me, I imagine this painting. At times it's a brilliant light and at other times it seems like only a little flicker. We've had ages of religious debate on what it means to be filled with the spirit of God. We know that God gives us his spirit freely, so everyone who knows Him has it, don't they? Well, yes, but there's a real difference in how that Spirit manifests itself. Who can deny that at certain times we have more intense, powerful encounters with God? You could compare it to a radio signal, which gets stronger the closer we get to the source. Or, more accureately, the heat of the sun. We can never fly right next to the sun because it would burn us up. That's God. This experience is, to some, needless. Is that not wanting what is unrealistic for us, as human beings, to walk in? God is always with us, is he not? But if you love someone, don't you want to be close to that person? After a while, talking on the phone and writing e-mails just won't do.
Think what you will about this, I'm just thinking. We say we are filled to overflowing, but our fullness is relative. Sometimes we're only allowing God to inhabit our lives as much as we're comfortable with. And "comfortable" is usually settling for second best.
posted by Heather at
6/20/2006
1 comment(s):
Hi Heather
How lovely to hear a full and flowing mind in action! After reading your June 20th piece, I reckon you would really enjoy the series of books by Neale Donald Walsch called "Conversations with God" and also his, "What God Wants". Thanks for a piece of your mind!
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