Too Cool for School

The Stink

Everything stinks. Not in a figurative sense. My house, my car, my classroom--they smell. Now, my classroom has to stink. You've got 130 youngsters in and out of it daily, many of whom brag about getting up at 7:40 and still making the bus...especially one boy who the other kids call "Lactate" . (Elasha, are you eating?) My apartment is a little musty. My allergies were giving me heck last week, so I kept my windows shut up. And anytime I cook anything, in that small of a space, my whole apartment smells like a biscuit for days at a time. But my car? It smells like I've loaned it to a fishmonger. Honestly! I looked back in the backseat. My Mom had given me several boxes so that I could start packing my stuff for the big move next month. All I can think of is that perhaps the boxes had absorbed some sort of rank-skank odor and now, in the heat of the midday sun, that stench was being reabsorbed by my car. Actually, I am probably just realizing how much in my life stinks because for the first time in two weeks, I'm not congested! Maybe allergies weren't such a bad thing.

Here are some things that I've been doing lately that I really recommend:
Pride and Prejudice soundtrack (it's a great stress reliever)
Dark chocolate (It's got health benefits...plus it's chocolate)
Not doing your laundry until you absolutely have to.
Buying gas in Burleson. It's the cheapest place in the Metroplex.
Watching Abbott & Costello movies. So funny!
Wearing dangly earrings and red lipstick to work.
Telling children/coworkers exactly what you need--in a kind way. It puts everybody on the same page.

Things I don't recommend:
Watching Nightline. Eventually they'll do a report that water causes cancer, then we'll all be in trouble.
Forgetting your church clothes and buying new ones at Target without trying them on first. Let's just say everyone at church got an eyefull.
Giving people the opportunity to use glitter. It's impossibly messy, and some students steal the glitter tubes to use as crackpipes.

posted by Heather at 5/17/2006