Too Cool for School

Things we do to stay out of trouble

I was in Starbucks tonight, completely surrounded by smart people. Being there, I felt, well, smart. I could've felt dumb, but chose not to. There were a couple of guys from India beside me, and they spoke Indian half of the night, and English the other. Well, I'm not really sure you could call it English. It was more like mathematical jargon mumbo-jumbo, something about IE = IC. Honestly, they said the word "pi" a lot. I really think that's the only time I've ever been out to a restaurant and heard people conversing happily about mathematical equations. Behind me sat a man with a laptop so technologically advanced it made my HP look like a peashooter. I don't know what he was writing, but he looked very happy about it. I bet he was typing an e-mail to all his friends, "I own got the most technologically advanced laptop in Starbucks!" You could tell he was smart because he wore glasses (A common misconception: that people who wear glasses are smart.) In front of me was a group of collegiates poring over a Macbook. They were editing a video, apparently for a class. And on the other side, another group of students, whining that this study session probably didn't cover all of the bases, but it was enough to get them an A. They also had laptops. But it was ok. I had my laptop, too! I didn't have to feel left out. If my laptop battery failed, though, I would probably have been kicked out of Starbucks for being too pedestrian.

My first real day of teacher inservice was spent in a lot of really boring meetings. Teachers are required to serve a certain number of inservice hours per year, and the districts like to eat those hours up with a lot of powerpoint presentations and passing out free pens. Today, I got a total of six different handbooks: A school handbook, a substitute teaching handbook, an gradebook handbook, a district handbook, safety handbook, and salary/benefits handbook. Do you think I will read them unless I need them? I don't even read the handbook for electronic devices that might burn my face off. Maybe that's unwise, but it's honest. Frankly, if I'm dumb enough to stand on a rolling chair on top of a desk and fall off the desk, then reading that handbook is not going to change anything. Not unless the handbook could break my fall.

We have to sign for every one of those handbooks saying that we got one and it was explained to us. All of this is so that we can never legally say, "I didn't know that!" and sue the district. Could you sue on the grounds that you didn't read your handbook because it was too boring?

God must be laughing at us a little bit, sometimes. The things we do.

posted by Heather at 8/09/2006