Me, myself, and God
SELF.
It's a dirty word. Of course, I value your "self" and should value everyone's "self", including my own, but the last thing I want to do is spoil my "self" and let it rule over me. Hard to do. This morning I lay there in bed and my "self" said, "I don't care if I never wake up!" In the morning, I have no rationale, only inate impulses: hunger, sleepiness, grumpiness. It's been like that everyday this week. This same lack of common sense seems to hit me when I'm shopping, arguing with my Mom, or contemplating dessert foods. In those moments, I'll even cry out to God to help me think straight, remember what I really want, which is to do the right thing.
The thing to do would be to disengage for a moment, walk away. Exit The Gap before I have a chance to try on that cute sundress. I'm not a rampant shopper, mind you. This is just the scary feeling that sometimes takes hold of me, and I want it to stop.
I would love to send my flesh to an obedience school and have it come back perfectly trained. Problem is, wherever it is, so go my heart, soul, and mind. I'm attached to it, so whatever discipline I subject my flesh to, the rest of me has to endure as well.I'm not talking about spiritually or physically beating oneself up. I've read about Christians who would beat themselves, carry a cross all over town, and tie themselves on it (in a non-deadly way) around Easter every year in order to suffer with Christ. Granted, self-crucifixion is a little severe. But have you ever observed Lent? What about tithing to church? In certain cases, self-sacrifice is not only beneficial, it's necessary for us to be in obedience with Christ. Think of exercising. Since no one has successfully created a "Magic Muscle Pill", we all have to do what's necessary to get stronger. That means hours in the gym, week after week, year after year. And boy, does it make us sore--especially when we first begin it. I can't tell you how many times I've decided I was going to go running and quit after a few days. My sister, an avid runner, says if a person can just continue the routine for six weeks, then he or she will have a desire to run. Until then, it means dragging oneself out of bed with great reluctance.
Last night I was in Burleson to see one of my students perform in the first-ever Burleson Community Theatre musical. Before I went to the show, I'd had dinner with Britney Owens, and dropped her off at Chris & Heidi's house. We saw the Lower half of Chris's body hanging out of a silver Honda I didn't recognize. I asked Chris if it was his new car. He said that it was Rachel & Steve's car, and that they'd traded cars with Rachel because her air conditioning didn't work. Rachel and Steve have a tiny baby boy, Ian, who is about four months old. I was so stunned. On the way home I thought, that's exactly what we're supposed to do for each other. Consider others more highly than ourselves. I know it will probably embarrass Chris, Rachel, and Steve, but I wanted to tell that story because it's so great. Only God can give us eyes to see beyond our own needs and realize someone else's.
Have you heard this MercyMe song? Check it out. It's fitting.
posted by Heather at
7/15/2006
1 comment(s):
hey heather!
i'm sorry i haven't called you back. time truly gets away from me so quickly!! thanks so much for calling to check on me! i really appreciate it. i have healed up very well:)
i hope that maybe we can squeeze in a lunch or dinner before school starts back up?!
miss you!!
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