Too Cool for School

We're Going for Ugly

If you haven't heard from me, it's because I've been deep in the heart of the Burleson Goodwill Superstore (did you know they had those?) digging for all things 70's. Our UIL One-Act play, The shadowbox is set in 1975, so everything that hits the stage--costumes, hairstyles, props, sets--all have to be from that period or it kills the magic. You don't want to be looking at a set that's all 70's and then see a dude with a mullet. That's 80's! Every child in the audience would go home disappointed in our lack of research on the time period! So we go to Lowe's and pick out paint. After much deliberation, we decide and take it up to the counter. I ask the cashier what she thinks of these colors. "Those are nice!" She offers. "No!" I sigh, "I wanted you to say that these are ugly. What we're going for is ugly." And the cashier laughs. "Those are ugly," She said, "I was just trying to be nice."

This is one of those times when I am so thankful to have a mother who never gets rid of anything. Just today, she and my Dad loaded up their trailer and brought me a yellow swivel chair and several amber-glass canisters that look like they were ripped off the set of The Brady Bunch. My parents moved back to Oklahoma in the early 70's and built a house, and naturally, decorated it in the fashionable shades. Harvest Gold. Avocado Green. Vermillion orange. Light Brown. Dark Brown. Psycadelic peach. Shag carpet. Vaulted ceilings. Wood panel. Ahh, the 70's. Even though we sold that house years ago, we still have those recliners somewhere in storage, just in case they ever come back in style.
This all makes me think of that house and wonder why it was so unnecessarily huge. Four Bedroom, three bath, sewing room, living area, and two dining areas. My parents just had four kids when they built it, and since my oldest brother was in college, they saved money and didn't build him a room. They built the kids' rooms all on one side of the house, and put their room on the complete other side. By the time I came along, all of the older kids were in college, so naturally, they gave me the largest, most spacious room for me and all of my toys. But I would have nightmares and would have to go to my parents room. I'd trek across the house led only by the faint light from the VCR. Then I'd go to school the next day and tell all the other kids, "Our house is a mile long!"
Anyway, that's off the subject. What I'm trying to say is, donate your ugly stuff to a theatre somewhere. It'll save them some money and time, since other theatres sometimes buy up all the ugly stuff before we can get there. Have you ever seen two theatre teachers brawl at the Salvation Army? It ain't pretty.

posted by Heather at 3/07/2006