Too Cool for School

Flirtation Devices

Up until Sunday evening, when I revealed that I had a "crush", I have been quite careful never to reveal any personal details of my love life. That wall has crumbled.

But not in the way that you'd like.

I will not reveal his name, how I know him, or what he does for a living. Well...maybe not never, but not now. It's just wrong. But I can tell you this: You probably don't know him, and he lives in the same town as me.

The problem is that I don't get to be around him much and when I am around him, it's always small talk, "How are you?" and I always say, "Fine". I sometimes ask him about his...job...and he asks me about mine and I say, "Oh, it's good" in my sweetest voice.

Then he leaves to go back to his...uhhh...office. (It's sort of an office.)

Get this--I actually asked some high school students for advice! They said I should flirt with him or he'll never know that I like him. But unfortunately I have a real issue with flirting, I guess because when you flirt you sacricfice some level of friendship and professionality with that person. And if they don't reciprocate, that person starts avoiding you and it's just uncomfortable and not even worth it. In the past, my flirting plan-of-action was as follows:

1) Say Hi and ask how the guy is doing.
2) Punch him in the arm
3) Wait for him to ask me out.

You MUST try this routine. It's created countless love connections at our school.

But how should I flirt but still show him that I respect him? My stance is that I'm not going to be the pursuer.

Truly, if Jesus comes back, he will explain this all to me. He will say, "Heather, you shouldn't worry about these things. I always avoided flirtation as well."

And this concludes,
"Everything you never wanted to know about Heather, volume 1"

posted by Heather at 12/15/2005