Too Cool for School

Better all the time

I love it when faith begins to make sense--when God begins to create and reveal in you the things you felt were so far away, but now are coming true. It's not the things I wanted. Instead of activity he has given me solitude. Instead of someone to date, he's given me companions who cherish their singleness. I have a thorn in my side, loneliness. But is it really a thorn? I knew that one day I would begin to see it as a blessing. It's started today.

And maybe tomorrow I'll fall back into the trap again. But I'm just so grateful for everyone's prayers. I think that God has been encouraging me in many ways to seek him first. That idea seemed like a foreign to me, because I've always had spiritual friends and family that also walked with me in the Lord. Turning to them was turning to God, because they'd help me see straight and pray over me in times of need. That season in my life is somehow over now. I don't live with my best friends, I live by myself...in an apartment complex filled with people that I don't know yet. I miss Lindsey. When I would have a bad day, I'd go and throw myself on her bed and spill the beans. And Lauren, because we'd always laugh at the same things. Kim would beat me up a lot, like a sister. And Allison, was always there when I'd come home, making some kind of craft on the living room floor. God gave me these amazing friends and now I have to be away from them. I can't even list all of my Skillman friends. It seems like I just got to feel closeness with them and I had to pack up and leave. This was totally my choice, I got exactly what I wanted. But still...

I don't know what will come out of this except strength. I can still use prayers because this is the fire, and I'll be here for some time. But I also know that many of you have experienced what it's like to live on your own in a new place before, or get a new job that wasn't easy. I delight in sharing your stories, because they are stories of victory. Mine will be, too.

(Lindsey, Lauren, Allison, and me.)

posted by Heather at 10/28/2005