Too Cool for School

Day of the Elvis Pelvises

Today was my second day, and much more complicated. You can always hide first day jitters by reading syllabi and laying ground rules, acting meaner than you have to, and playing name-games. Today I started working math problems in my remedial TAKS classes and then realized I had forgotten most of the basic algebraic equations. In dance class, I gave a student-centered assignment and then hijacked it, turning it into a lecture, which earned me a scathing scolding by a student who told me yesterday that she was dropping the class. (Would that she had.) At any rate, I heard more innuendo today than I’d care to hear in a lifetime. It’s true what they say…that every generation thinks they invented sex. These kids act like I don’t know what they’re talking about! I pretend not to, because I’ve learned that if you cast a knowing glance, they assume you appreciate their humor and want to hear more. Yes, I already play dumb. Their jokes are a trap. They want to know where I stand and I’d rather kiss a toilet seat than preach abstinence. I’d rather be a living example, because everything else just fails. It just seems like I keep saying the wrong things. The tech theatre class erupted at the word “nut” yesterday. We were talking about hardware! That doesn’t even cover what happened when I explained legs, teasers, and thrust stages. One boy even demonstrated his joke for everyone, just in case we missed the joke the first two, three, four times. Wow. If there’s one thing that makes me squirm, it’s skinny high school boys with Elvis-Pelvises.

posted by Heather at 8/23/2005